I'm in the "In" group now
Sandwiched between
Both sets of eighty plus
Parents
Instability, LifeAlerts
Nurses, insurance
ER, ICU, PT, ALF
The new vocabulary words
Of accidents, aging
And unhappiness
We see
The mind giving up
On memory
Good judgment
And are helpless
To stop the process
We watch with
The Fates as
The thread stretches
Straining to hear
The snap
I'm in the "In" group
Except I really want
Out
This is written for Peggy's prompt at Poetry Jam poetryjaam.blogspot.com to write about being on the inside looking out or vice versa. I am at a point in life where all of my friends are dealing with aging parents. The press calls it the "Sandwich Generation" because we are taking care of kids and parents at the same time. My kids are grown, (but we're still paying for college..) Both our fathers have had horrific accidents/illnesses Hector's last year, mine this year. Their wives cannot care for them. And we're definitely feeling the squeeze of time demands, etc. The part that is most troubling is, as much as we do, there is nothing we can do to give them back their sense of independence and good health. They see their bodies and their minds failing, realize that they will always require supervision and are very unhappy. Which is an extended grieving process, for all of us, losing them bit by bit. The statistics are, we have succeeded in increasing life span, however, the rate of chronic illness has also risen. I'm not ready to let them go, but sometimes the sadness of the situation is overwhelming--(ER=Emergency Room, ICU=Intensive Care Unit, PT=Physical Therapy, and ALF=Assisted Living Facility)
Hi Sara...ah, here you are. You did post a link. I was a bit confused. Glad to see you. I think the sandwich generation has it hard! And I empathize. Your poem expresses it well....the taking care of elderly parents & knowing that it won't get better. I understand you wanting OUT, but also think at these times we also need to find a way to treasure each day..as before long.......... Nice to see you here at PJ!
ReplyDeleteHi Mary, so glad you found me. We do look for the bright spots, and give all the love we can, while we can. It's just a difficult time. Thank you for the support.
Deleteoy i feel that a bit...though it is as much extended family as it is my own...my uncle is in the hospital now....i just want a month without visiting hospitals you know...dont let it overwhelm you too much...
ReplyDeletenew site! nice....
Brian, so sorry that you are in this same boat. It's some rough seas my friend. Hope that you soon receive a reprieve from the hospital visits. Wishing health and healing to your family
DeleteIt is a difficult time of life you describe well. So hard to lose them bit by bit and feel helpless to fix anything. We have in the past couple years lost our last parent--and you just do the best you can. Hang in there. Good to see you again and I like your site.
ReplyDeleteHi Peggy, yes it really is. Poetry is a great way to release some of the heartache. I'm sorry to hear about your parents. Thank you for the great prompt and your empathy
DeleteI came across the term 'sandwich generation' a few years ago in an article by a woman who was from it herself. I can totally hear you and your wish to get out. I hope things get better for you son.
ReplyDeleteHi Gabriella, it is a strange time. However, things are getting better, my dad is getting out of physical rehab facility today and coming home. Thank you for your kind words
Deleteyes we have to walk that path of helplessness in this life...very hard yet true...but the only good thing is we gain strength and are disillusioned about life....
ReplyDeleteHi Sumana, it is a helpless paths and you're right there is learning in it as well. Thank you
DeleteLife can be very bemusing, just as you see the kids leave you start looking after, those that looked after you. It is really captured in your words and i can taste that tension.
ReplyDeleteHi Alan, you are right, life is full of interesting twists and role reversals. Thank you for the lovely compliment.
DeleteI never heard of the Sandwich Generation, but your poem certainly explained it well. Hold on. Every circumstance is temporary.
ReplyDeleteHi Mary Ann, funny term isn't it? And you are correct, every circumstance is temporary. We have to hang in and love while we can. Thank you
DeleteLife is sure to go bestial at times, but then we have to hang in and persevere...Hope we draw the resilience to face the bits....Very touching !
ReplyDeleteHi Susmit, Exactly true--the hanging in gets a bit wearying, but it's necessary and we have to make the most of it. Thank you for the compliment
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